Over the last few years the phenomenon of bullying has been in the news. Horrific cases of mental self image abuse and physical abuse have made the headlines. Beautiful young girls have even hung themselves to escape the stigma and effects of these cases. In this case they even went so far as creating an online secret admirer over weeks of online conversations. Developed an emotional connection with their target always with the intent of eventual rejection, breaking their heart. The attack was so vicious and calculated in thier attack through ridicule and public humilation the target took their life. The most shocking aspect of this case was the perpetrator was an adult and the target a middle school girl. The reason was the parent literally just hated that the girl was more attractive than their daughter! This sadly is just one of many cases.
The recent Miami Dolphins players case has again shined the light on this phenomenon. All the scholars and talking heads are discussing how to address and educate future generations on the evils of bullying. The truth is bullying is not about the target it’s a symptom of the bullier. It’s a case of lacking self esteem on the part of the bullier.
Bullying is the result of the same symptom that gives rise to hate crimes and racism. It’s a way that some misguided and sometimes evil twisted individuals cope with their self image issues.
The bulky wants to find someone, anyone that they can point to and say look they are worse than me. If we are ever going to stop this type of activity we need to raise individuals that internally seek their self image and less about comparing to what’s outside them. It’s roots are set on the same soil that fosters our marketing to us all. It’s about the idea that you should be like these beautiful people on television. It’s about seeking external sources acceptance and validation. Just as it feel good to be told you look great because you look like what is ideal in the eyes of marketing executives, it’s equally devastating to find these goals unattainable. When some individuals find that physical and or economic equality eludes them then they seek some external stimulus they can compare to that is inferior. They become bullies.
So it’s not about teaching kids that we should not bully it’s about teaching kids that they are special, by helping those in need, by building their self image and not by comparing instead by building confidence.