Slaying the Bull


Over the last few years the phenomenon of bullying has been in the news.  Horrific cases of mental self image abuse and physical abuse have made the headlines.  Beautiful young girls have even hung themselves to escape the stigma and effects of these cases.  In this case they even went so far as creating an online secret admirer over weeks of online conversations.  Developed an emotional connection with their target always with the intent of eventual rejection, breaking their heart.   The attack was so vicious and calculated in thier attack through ridicule and public humilation the target took their life.  The most shocking aspect of this case was the perpetrator was an adult and the target a middle school girl.  The reason was the parent literally just hated that the girl was more attractive than their daughter! This sadly is just one of many cases.

The recent Miami Dolphins players case has again shined the light on this phenomenon.   All the scholars and talking heads are discussing how to address and educate future generations on the evils of bullying.  The truth is bullying is not about the target it’s a symptom of the bullier.  It’s a case of lacking self esteem on the part of the bullier.

Bullying is the result of the same symptom that gives rise to hate crimes and racism.  It’s a way that some misguided and sometimes evil twisted individuals cope with their self image issues. 

The bulky wants to find someone, anyone that they can point to and say look they are worse than me.  If we are ever going to stop this type of activity we need to raise individuals that internally seek their self image and less about comparing to what’s outside them.  It’s roots are set on the same soil that fosters our marketing to us all.  It’s about the idea that you should be like these beautiful people on television.  It’s about seeking external sources acceptance and validation.  Just as it feel good to be told you look great because you look like what is ideal in the eyes of marketing executives, it’s equally devastating to find these goals unattainable.  When some individuals find that physical and or economic equality eludes them then they seek some external stimulus they can compare to that is inferior.  They become bullies.

So it’s not about teaching kids that we should not bully it’s about teaching kids that they are special, by helping those in need, by building their self image and not by comparing instead by building confidence. 


Just in case


For some time now I have been a bit perplexed at the fervor at which events like Christmas and school now prayer are attacked.  My reasoning is one of a libertarian.   Live and let live is my motto.

You want prayer in school there’s a lot worse things I would think.  The nativity and Santa Claus for Christmas, it’s jacko’lanterns at Holloween.  Valentine’s day another good example of commercialism at its best.  Do it don’t do it whatever..

Then I ran against a true atheist.   Worse he someone I respect and call a good if not my best friend.

The subject had never come.up before so in leisure conversation I mentioned what’s the big deal with “in god we trust”

I had recently read where the words are being taken off the currency and thought, it’s a tradition, what’s the big deal??

My friend remind me that it’s not about live and let live with religion.  In fact it’s largely been do and submit or pay for many.  It’s about the freedom to choose not the freedom to allow. You can pray, you can trust and you can celebrate just don’t government sanction.

Initially and for a few days I was bit disturbed by his stance.  I tried to find many ways that described why he was being frivolous.   Who cares I thought.

All the while I was haunted by what I see in the middle east, what happens in the cults and those that suffer today under ideologically based persecution.

As a Catholic we tend to be selective on how we believe while retaining our label of catholic.  The Catholics are the most liberal as most of us are religious just in case.

The mob goes to church right after they committ a crime.  Countless go to church as pro choice.  Gay and lesbians enter the church and take communion.  Although all of these are against doctrine the church community is generally inclusive and focused on the larger picture and if not then it’s due to cultural norms that determine strict adherence to doctrine. All in all its the Universal religion and Christ himself (at least what’s in the bible) never addresses these topics instead it’s man’s interpretation of his teachings that create the controversy.

So as days passed after our discussion and much thought on my end, I came across the topic of inclusion.   I remembered that Christmas is now being shared and that this felt as an invasion.   I remembered how I could not believe that now we had to celebrate 2, 3 and soon 4 other traditions.  Some.invented to provide ethic identity! !  I was incensed!   Its not bad enough that the atheists are after us but now I had to send my kids to learn some ridiculous….  that’s when it hit me.

In short the lesson is live and let live.  If you want to have a nativity on your lawn, knock yourself out.  Start a passion play at the church awesome but force me to engage sorry.

I like being a Catholic because I feel Christ was a change agent.  He said I don’t come to worship the law but to destroy it (loose quote but general meaning is right)

I like that if we have a gift from God it’s our brain and with it comes choice.   I choose what I want but make no mistake is hedge my bets just in case!!



When we are born in the west we are an age of zero but in China and most of Asia we are 9 months (if full term) and our first birthday is celebrate on the 3 month from birth.  It’s makes sense since are are actually born at conception.   Or are we?  This is another debate for there is a difference between years of life and consciousness.   We will not leave this for another chapter.

So what is you age.  Already if you were born in the west you are 9 months younger so the Chinese method is not welcomed by most.

Now let’s go back.

As a child you may remember the wonder and magic of all.  As you aged you learned that most events are predictable.   This ended much of the mystery.  

Later you learned that age meant privilege.   You can vote, you can drive, you can drink and eventually have sex.  All the taboos were gone and age was breaking all your chains of childhood.

Then you again gained in wisdom and it was rewarded financially.  You got to be the boss.  Your friends were the boss too.  This came with the knowledge of death.

Those before you retired or died.

At first it was a blessing for you inherited the earth.  Then it became a mirror for you inherit their fate.

Your hair began to recede.

Your stomach fell

Your muscles hurt

You began to feel as a runner that knew his run was at its peak and forward was a decent.

You grew impatient

You grew worried

You began to wonder if risk was personal

You grew aged

The new hires at first reminded you of yourself

Later they reminded you of those you replaced

You wondered from admiration to fear

You stopped new ideas for they threaten your past accomplishments.

This was when you failed.

It’s not about guarding the past it’s about providing it’s lessons.

The new hires are better, they should be they are a product of the world you built.

You showed them way information was key,  why restrictions where stifling.   You are not their barrier you were and are their enabler.

Embrace the future for its a freight train barreling down at you.  Jump on or it will run you over.

Age is the gift of survival

Age is the gift of plenty

Age is a gift that few have

If you sit alone for all your friends are gone.  You just need new friends.

If your new friends don’t get you, you don’t get them

If you think age is an enemy then life was a villan

Stay facing forward, don’t look back for your next step is in tomorrow and your last is a tale.

You are fortunate to have the gift of age ask a parent of dead child.

Age is the ultimate accomplishment relish in it for you are the few,  you are the rare, you are the aged.